Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
