You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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