We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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