He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
