Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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