At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
