Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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