A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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