Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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