if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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