yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In other news, I just burned my penis
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
