Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Edward fifth and chaser hands
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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