I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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