I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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