Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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