this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
