respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
