Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
