Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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