Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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