I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
