if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
