just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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