I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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