Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
