Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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