tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
