I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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