My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
