So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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