We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
