then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
