Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
