I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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