He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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