apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
