Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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