I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
