are you still at the devil's house?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
