I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
