my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
