Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
