I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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