I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
