I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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