Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
