I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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