I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize