But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
