Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize