I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
