The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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