bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It was confusing and full of hummus
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
