I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
