I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
