Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
