no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
