felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
