Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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