Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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