Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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