Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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