So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
