Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
