sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize