we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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