Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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