it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
