Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
