4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
someone owes me an orgasm
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
