his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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