12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
