So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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